Having the Courage to Change in Midlife
Courage. The ability to do something that frightens you.
Like making changes in life when fear is holding you back. Scary, right? But it can be done. It requires you to be courageous.
Taking steps to be brave can help with even the smallest changes you need to take to reach big goals. Let’s look at ways to cultivate more courage and build the life you deserve!
Having courage doesn’t mean fear doesn’t exist.
What is Courage?
Doing something even when it frightens you takes courage. It means you can make changes even when fear and anxiety show up at the party uninvited. Both can keep you stuck, unable to move forward if you let them. It’s important to ask yourself, ‘What is the price of staying stuck where I am?’ Spoiler alert: It’s probably pretty steep!
Don’t believe that all fear and anxiety have to be set aside for you to take action. It’s ok to be afraid while changing habits and asking for what you need. But don’t let that stop you. You’re just getting started!
Courage develops when you move ahead even when it feels scary. You can ask for that raise, set boundaries, have that difficult conversation, or set aside time regularly to take care of yourself.
I truly get this! I had to put a plan into action when I moved away from my full-time nursing career to coach women in midlife. I was nervous about making this big change but over time, developed the courage to make it happen.
I knew without a doubt that my passion was helping other women not make the mistakes I did during hormonal changes. I believe it’s so important for women of all ages, especially in midlife, to ask for what they need as they improve their health, both physically and mentally.
Midlife is a time of many changes — hormonal shifts, becoming empty nesters, questioning relationships and careers, and changing health. It’s important to ask yourself the hard questions and take the steps you can be proud of!
Seven Ways To Cultivate Courage
Once you decide you don’t like where you are in life, it’s time to make changes.
But once you look to step forward, you might recognize that fear has been holding you back. Don’t beat yourself up. This is the case for many women.
It’s not fear that gets in the way of showing up – it’s armor. It’s the behaviors we use to self-protect. We can be afraid and brave at the same time. Armor suffocates courage and cages our hearts.
– Brene Brown
Ready to drop the armor and unleash your inner warrior? Here are some ways to cultivate courage:
- Just start. Yes, it can be this simple. Say for instance you want to exercise more but realize that you are too busy with work and family responsibilities to even get out for a walk. But remembering that this practice will improve your mental and physical well-being means it will benefit everyone. Find a time (morning, midday, or evening) and carve out even 15 minutes to make this happen. You’ll be proud of yourself. Look at my habit-stacking post for more tips on how to make new habits happen.
- Stop thinking about what others think. I worked with a client who realized early on that she had a voice (an annoying voice) in her head that judged her decisions. She thought that was how everyone was reacting to her when she asked for what she needed. After working through this thought process, she realized no one was judging her but herself. If someone is truly troubled by you being brave, it’s about them. Not you!
- Write down your goals. As you recognize what is important to you and what you need to change to get there, you will be more motivated to stay the course. Being focused helps you realize the importance of your dreams and the mini steps to get there. Let’s admit that checking things off a list is weirdly satisfying.
- Lower your stress. Taking care of your health with proper nutrition, movement, and sleep is important to lowering your stress. Once you remove unnecessary stress, you can see more clearly what path you need to take to reach goals and envision your inner strength! Learn more at my blog: How to Heal a Dysregulated Nervous System.
- Allow failure. Failing will inevitably happen once you get out of your comfort zone. Staying safe is comfortable but no change happens there!
- Find a support system. Cheering each other on is a wonderful way to move forward. Find like-minded friends or family that support you in your journey and give you the pep talk you need sometimes. Remember to return the favor!
- Recognize poor habits that numb. We all have them and they work, temporarily. We’re afraid of a difficult conversation with our teenage son, significant other, friend, or coworker so we decide to scroll social media or go to the cabinet with the chocolate to ‘escape’. They both work to alleviate some discomfort but these habits won’t make us courageous.
Next Steps
Growing more courageous is a necessary practice to move into action. Your goals won’t be reached without you being brave and taking the steps needed to create the life you want! But don’t let fear hold you back!
So go on, be the hero of your own story. Think about the last pep talk you gave to someone you care about telling them to be brave and move forward. Give yourself that talk!
Please reach out and let me know how you are moving forward at being braver. Even teeny, tiny steps will yield big results over time with consistency. I’d love to hear from you!
And, I’m happy to get on a free discovery call with you if you’re interested in learning how I can help you create the life you deserve with one of my one-on-one programs or digital course you can complete at your own pace!
Kathleen is a registered nurse, certified life and health coach, and intuitive eating counselor who empowers midlife women to navigate hormone changes, manage menopause symptoms, and make peace with food for a balanced, healthier life. Her own journey of overcoming an eating disorder and navigating a difficult menopause inspired her to help women reclaim their health, break free from chronic dieting, and embrace intuitive, mindful living.
